Boyfriend
by Pervingly
Summary: Carlos writes in his journal almost everyday about how much he loves Kendall.  What happens when Kendall reads his journall?   Oneshot.  SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush or any of its characters or the song Boyfriend *Sigh*. I wish I did own it all.**

**Anyways, I hope you like it.**

**BTW: This is only a oneshot.**

Carlos P.O.V.

He would never love me. I can't believe I let myself fall for him so hard. But I guess there's not really anything that I can do except just hide my feelings like I have for the past year. Thankfully, I have my trusty journal that I write in almost everyday about how much I love Kendall. Yeah, you heard me right. I love my best friend. Aka the boy I grew up with. Aka the boy that maybe gay, but still would never look twice at me (or once for that matter). Aka Kendall Knight. Matter of fact, I need to write in my journal now.

_2/12/11 _

_Dear Journal,_

_Today, I have been trying to avoid I know he will never love me like I love him. To him, I am just his friend. At most like his brother. I guess I am just going to have to keep that I don't think of him as more than a friend. I mean, if he ever found out that I loved him, him and the others would probably kick me out of the apartment, repulsed. So I will just go on like this. Pretending. I did, however, write him a song that I will never have the guts to sing to him. Here it is:_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boy_

_Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone? Yeah_

_And there isn't anything they could've said or done?_

_And everyday I see you on your own_

_And I can't believe that you're alone_

_But I overheard your boys and this is what they said_

_Looking for a, looking for a_

_That you're looking for a boyfriend, I see that_

_Give me time, you know, I'm gonna be there_

_Don't be scared to come, put your trust in me_

_Can't you see all I really want to be_

_Is your boyfriend, can't fight that_

_Let me down, you know, I'm coming right back_

_I don't care at all what you done before_

_All I really want is to be your_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Let me take a little moment to find the right words_

_So when I kick it you it ain't something that you've heard_

_I don't know what kind of guy that you prefer_

_But I know I gotta put myself for worse_

_See I think got the kind of love that you deserve and I heard that_

_That you're looking for a boyfriend, I see that_

_Give me time, you know, I'm gonna be there_

_Don't be scared to come, put your trust in me_

_Can't you see all I really want to be_

_Is your boyfriend, can't fight that_

_Let me down, you know, I'm coming right back_

_I don't care at all what you done before_

_All I really want is to be your_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_If you tell me where, I'm waiting here_

_Everyday like slum-dog millionaire_

_Bigger than the twilight love affair_

_I'll be here, boy, I swear_

_Looking for a, looking for a_

_That you're looking for a boyfriend, I see that_

_Give me time, you know, I'm gonna be there_

_Don't be scared to come, put your trust in me_

_Can't you see all I really want to be_

_Is your boyfriend, can't fight that_

_Let me down, you know, I'm coming right back_

_I don't care at all what you done before_

_All I really want is to be your_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_(Your boyfriend)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_(Your boyfriend)_

_All I really want is to be your_

_(Boyfriend)_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_All I really want is to be your_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend_

_All I really want is to be your_

_I wonder if Kendall would like the song if he ever found out and wasn't repulsed by me. But I'm not going to take that chance so I don't know why I even thought about that. What's not to like about him though. He's sweet, funny, hot as hell, and smart (most of the time). And I was lucky enough to be able to call him the love of my life even if he didn't know. One thing I know for sure: My feelings for Kendall will never leave. I will always love , the guys just got back so I gotta go._

_Carlos Garcia._

Just as I closed the book, I heard the love of my life's voice.

"Carlos, we're back from the pool." Kendall said as he came into our room. I nodded, still looking down. I couldn't look up or I knew that I would start drooling over his wet body. It was hard to avoid him when we shared a room. I looked at the clock to see that it was 4:30pm. Dinner should be done soon.

As if she could read my mind, Mrs. Knight said that dinner was ready. We walked out to the kitchen/dining room and sat down at the table. Tonight we were having lasagna and salad. I couldn't stop myself from staring longingly at Kendall every once in a while. But at least I had enough self-control to only stare while he wasn't looking and to look away quickly if he looked up. I think Logan and James saw a few times 'cause I would look away quickly and they would smirk at each other, like they knew what was happening. I'm just glad that Kendall didn't see. I didn't want him to be mad at me.

After dinner, I went out to the pool and then went to my room. The others were all in the living room, either on the computer or watching TV or something. I sat on my bed and picked up my journal. I read what I had written earlier, since I didn't really think about what I was writing when I was writing it. I cried my self to sleep that night, thinking about how Kendall will never love me. I was vaguely aware that Kendall had entered the room, but I was to far into my sleep to care.

Kendall's P.O.V.

The guys and I -excluding Carlos- got back to the apartment after being at the pool all afternoon. I went into me and Carlos' room. I had THE biggest crush on him ever. I mean come on, what's there not to like about him. He's funny, fun, sweet, and could be smart when he wanted to be. Add all that onto him being EXTREMELY hot, and what do you get? A huge crush on him from me. I saw him looking down at a book in his hand. I looked closer and saw that it was hid journal.

"Carlos, we're back from the pool." I said. He just nodded, keeping his head down. He looked like he was thinking hard about something. He looked even hotter, if that was even possible, when he was thinking then usual.

"Boys, dinners ready." Mom called. Me and Carlos went out into the kitchen/dining room. We were having Lasagna tonight. Yum. I could have sworn that I saw Carlos keep staring at me a few times, but then when I would look up, he would quickly look away. It was probably just in my head. I mean seriously, why would he like me. He's not even gay like I am. That I know of, anyways. After dinner, me, James, and Logan went to watch TV, mom and Katie went shopping, and Carlos went to the pool. It took all I had not to go out there with him, just to see his bare chest with water dripping off.

About 10 minutes after my mom and Katie got back, Carlos came back in and went to bed. We all just watched TV for a while. Or at least they did. I was to focused on thoughts about Carlos to pay attention to the TV. Finally, I got bored, so I just decided to go to my room and go to sleep. When I got to me and Carlos' room, I saw him laying on his bed with his journal in his hand again, but this time he had tear tracks on his face. My curiosity and worry spiked when I saw the tears. I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. It would have kept me up all night, not know what had made the love of my life -even though he didn't know it- cry. I carefully picked up the journal and looked at his last entry. What I read shocked the shit out of me. Carlos, my best friend who is also my crush, felt the same for me as I did for him. I just couldn't rap my head around it. I mean, it says it, but I couldn't understand why he would want me of all people. I decided to just think about it while I went to sleep. I gently put the journal down where I got it. I laid down in bed and continued my thoughts.

Next Morning.

I woke up and decided I would talk to Carlos about his journal today. I got up and went over to his bed. I got on top of him so that I was straddling him. He opened his eyes and muttered to himself, 'I could wake up from that face every morning.' I chuckled.

Carlos' P.O.V.

I woke up the next morning. I opened my eyes and saw Kendall sitting on my lap, straddling me, staring into my eyes.

"I could wake up to that face every morning." I said more to myself. I didn't mean for him to hear it, but obviously he did, cause he chuckled. "But seriously, what are you doing on top of me?" I asked. He smirked. He leaned down so that our lips met in a passionate kiss. Kendall reached up and gently cradled my cheek, slowly reaching back to run his fingers through my raven hair. My eyes fluttered shut and I kissed Kendall just like I'd always wanted to. I marveled at how wonderful it felt. Kendall's lips were so soft, and his mouth was so warm. It was just how I'd always imagined. Feeling Kendall's warmth so close to me was magical. After what seemed like forever, they had to pull away in need of air. "Wow." Was all I could get out. That was amazing.

"I want you to be my boyfriend to. And I love the song." He said. Wait a minute, how did he- he read my journal didn't he? I don't care right now. He just said that he wanted me to be his boyfriend. I smiled and reached up and attached my lips to his again.

I never thought that this would ever happen. I am so happy that I wrote in that journal.

**A/N So I hope you all liked this. I just thought about it yesterday and so I started typing it up. And I thought that one of them singing this song to another guy would be hot. So please review and tell me what you think.**

**~SamUleys-wolf-gurl**


	2. Important AN

**A/N I totally forgot to mention in the oneshot that the kissing scene belongs to Panda-Boo16 and her oneshot, 'A Christmas Surprise'. I had it in my mind that when I was done writing that oneshot, I would put at the end that the credit for that scene went to her, but it went completely out of my mind. Anyways, I just remembered about, so I figured that I would post that now, so the kissing scene does not belong to me, it belongs to Panda-Boo16. Also, if you haven't already, please check out my other oneshot 'What They Don't Know, Can Hurt Them'. I have been kinda upset about it cause I only have 1 review and I looked at the traffic and it says that I have 159 visitors. If only everyone that read it would review. 159 reviews would make me super happy *HINT HINT* ; )**

**~SamUleys-wolf-gurl**


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